You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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