He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
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dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
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She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar