His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"