Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
