You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
