Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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