Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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