Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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