i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
