Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
