We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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