you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
