and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
