You can't motorboat a personality
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
