opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
