you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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