you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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