so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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