ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
