Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he puts the penis in happiness.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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