Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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