just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
