Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
this hospital has no fireball
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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