i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
