You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
They took my balls.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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