tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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