Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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