Kareoke will never be a sober sport
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
