Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he wants to bone in the snuggie
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
