I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
