im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
