I'm really into asian looking animals
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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