just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well I just put wine in my tea
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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