you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize