Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
