4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize