What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
