I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Quick, to the slutcave!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
