I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
