I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
