yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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