The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize