Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
