You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize