i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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