So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
