we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
