How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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