porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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