And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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