Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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