Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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