Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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