I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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