Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize