Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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