I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
