pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I think i peed on brittanys purse
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
