p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize