I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
