Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Two words: nipple clamps
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