Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
