marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
only you would photoshop your dick
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
