So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
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You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize