and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
