Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Randomize
