No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
