i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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