i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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