ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
