What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
