i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
